Food! Glorious Food!

So, today while making lunch for the crew today, I saw this on the bag of fries;

That is a very specific temp.

You don’t normally see a temp of 420. 425, 450, or 350 are the usual settings. So I asked Wifey, how do you think they came up with 420? Was it years of testing? Trying all the variables of times and temps? I would love to have seen the lab records…

“Tried half a bag @350 for 1 hour. Still soggy, inedible. Gave to the dog. He wouldn’t eat them either.”

“Tried half a bag @475 for 1 hour. Had to call the fire department. Dog howled at the sirens.”

“Tried half a bag @475 for 30 minutes. Dog chipped a tooth on them.”

“Tried half a bag @350 for 90 minutes. Same as last attempt. Dog afraid to try them.”

“Gave up and ate them frozen. Dog is very pissed.”

Poor dog..

But what I think really happened was like this.

Tech 1: “Let’s try half a bag @420.”

Tech 2: “420? Who the fuck cooks at 420?”

Tech 1: “It’s 420. Get it?”

Tech 2: “Huh??”

Tech 1: “420 – you know.. As in.. (points at baggy in lab coat pocket).”

Tech 2: “Ah… Yes, they’ll eat anything after that shit!”

OK, maybe not. But it could have happened at my house!

It’s like the story that sharks don’t eat people because they don’t like the way we taste. Now who the hell did that taste test? I say it went like this;

Scene: Two labs techs stand by a large pool with a great white shark swimming in it.

Tech1: Throws in a chicken and watches while the shark eats the chicken.

Tech 2: Writes on clipboard; “Shark likes chicken”

Tech 1: Throws a pig into the pool, watches while shark eats the pig.

Tech 2: Writes on clipboard; “Shark likes pig”

Tech 1: Pushes a cow into the pool. Shark eats the cow.

Tech 2: Writes on clipboard; “Shark likes cow”

Tech 1: Thinks for a moment, pushes tech 2 into the pool. The shark bites Tech 2, but doesn’t eat him/her.

Tech 1: Writes on clipboard; “Shark doesn’t like humans”

Actually, the shark was full, and was hoping for some ice cream.

No? Then let me tell you a true story. Yes, really. This is true.

When we lived in Alaska our neighbors called us the “ethnic family”. Not that we were “ethnic” (whatever that means). After all we are your basic WASP. They were referring to our eating habits. If you follow me on Twitter or better yet, Instagram (links at the bottom of the post) you know we eat from just about every “ethnic” group out there.

One guy in particular, “Long John” asked almost every night; “What are you making tonight?”

Fish & Chips!

“Don’t you guys eat normal food”? He would ask…

Now, to be honest, those pictures are not from when we were in Alaska. They are much more current, but that’s what we ate then and now. We have stepped up the game since then tho..

And seafood, of course. This is #Floriduh after all.

Breakfast anyone?

And I haven’t even started on the grilled and/or smoked stuff!

Give me your food story!

Peace,
B

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