humor

Ginger Finishes – 2019

It’s the last week for our mischievous little elf, Ginger.

Sunday evening found her opening the little gift the girls had for her.

How many other elves get gifts?

She didn’t waste anytime getting things going for her last couple of days. Since the girls stayed with us Sunday night, she was ready for them on Monday Morning.

And since the girls are on their winter break from school, they’ll be staying with us a bit longer. And rumor has it that Ginger will be able to stay until Christmas morning this year! Seems she has some special gifts to pass out!

YES!!! Ginger was here bright and early Christmas morning. It seems that Santa brought granddaughter-the-younger a Malibu Barbie Dreamhouse! I think Wifey is a bit jealous. She didn’t get a Barbie Dreamhouse when she was a kid! Ginger had to build it for the girls after Santa just left it in the box.

Ginger also set out all the family stockings for us.

Then Ginger suddenly reappeared with two more gifts for the girls. Where does she get her money???

And then, just like magic, she was gone. No note, no goodbye, she just magicked herself back to the north pole.

I wonder what tricks she has planned for us next year. We heard some rumors that she’s been accepted into the trainer program at the North Pole. We’ll have to see.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this years adventures with Ginger.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, whatever you celebrate from the Campbell family to you and yours.

Peace,
B

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Ginger Week Three – 2019

It’s close to Ginger leaving us for the year, but she still has a trick or two up her sleeve.

The girls had a sleep-over on Friday night, so Ginger had another lazy day. But come Saturday, she was waiting for the girls.

She knows we’re going to the mountains right after Christmas. So she showing the proper form for a downhill run on a saucer sled.

Ugh… more terrible jokes.

Why do elves make good listeners?
What do you call an elf that sings?

On a rainy, dreary day Ginger got the munchies.

The gingerbread house seemed to be a bit stale.

And since the girls are on their winter break from school, they’ll be staying with us a bit longer. And rumor has it that Ginger will be able to stay until Christmas morning this year! Seems she has some special gifts to pass out! But that will be another post.

Peace,
B

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It Has Begun!

As I have mentioned several times (most recently here), the Christmas Season can’t begin until two things happen. I have to hear John Lennon’s Happy XMas (War Is Over) in some random way and I have to watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

I am (somewhat) happy to report that both of those requirements have been met. The Official Christmas Season® may now begin. You’re welcome.

Yes, I’m a Grinch. Thank you for noticing…

And as dear old dad always said, “Merry bah humbug!”

Peace,
B

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Ginger Continues – 2019

Let’s start this week off with something different. No, not Santaur.. That was scary. Here is the gingerbread house the girls and their daddy built.

Right after Ginger went to take her nap, and I posted, we found out the girls would be spending Sunday night with us. Poor Ginger had to get out of her comfy bed.

Trying to solve the age old question; How many licks does it take to get to the center? (And we all know we can’t trust that owl!)

The girls didn’t come over until Saturday this week, so Ginger got to “sleep in”. But she had a special surprise for them when they did make it.

We don’t have a snow globe, so Ginger turned herself into one for us.

We were a bit busy Saturday, so Ginger only had time for one of her riddles.

Where do elves go dancing?

Sunday morning found her trying to be being crafty.

Guess this is better than candy jewelry?

Then it was back to riddles…

Why did the elves as the turkey to join the band?
Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in?

The girls won’t be back until next Saturday, they have a sleepover on Friday evening. I guess Ginger will have another long sleep until then! And remember, riddles only answered here on the blog!

Peace,
B

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So, This Is Christmas?

Faithful readers (I do have a couple of faithful readers, right? RIGHT??), will remember that I do not start the “Christmas Season” until two things happen. First, I have to hear John Lennon’s, Happy XMas (War Is Over) and we’ve seen National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

We can control when we watch the movie, but hearing the song has a more strict requirement. I have to hear it while out of the house, and it can’t be played at my request. It just has to be on a random playlist, usually while shopping. But this year, I’ve only been to the mall once, and even then I never left the little pub. I still can’t walk long distances, so I sat and had a few beers while Wifey and son-the-younger did the shopping.

As usual, I do most of my shopping, holiday or not, on-line. Since Amazon doesn’t have background music like the mall stores do, the chance of hearing Happy X-Mas is slim to none. And Slim just walked out the door.

We did go to Wifey’s office Christmas party last night and they had Christmas music playing in the background. The song may have played, but luckily they had the volume low enough that I could only catch brief bits of the music hear and there. So I don’t know if it played or not. They didn’t have the old standards playing so it may have, but I didn’t hear it.

If you haven’t caught on by now, I really, really, really don’t like the usual Christmas music. Granddaughter-the-elder had her class Christmas program earlier this week. It was quite enjoyable. Other than the hand bell part, which was the old standards, the rest of the program was new music. They even did We Will Jingle, set to the tune of Queen’s We Will Rock You complete with foot stomps and hand claps. That was cool. And even better my wee bonnie lass had a small speaking part and she nailed it!

I’m thinking we will probably watch the movie this weekend. I’m sure it’s available on one of the streaming services I pay for. If not, Pay For View is always an option. As long as I can find it without commercial interruption. I absolutely despise commercials.

Today is also the Army Navy football game. This is probably the only football game I care about. And even then, not that much. I won’t watch the game since son-the-elder is currently overseas with his Army unit. But as an Army retiree, I have to say #GoArmyBeatNavy.

What are your holiday requirements and/or traditions? Get the conversation started by leaving a comment!

Peace,
B

P.S. Wifey has the old The Monkee’s TV show playing while I’m writing this, so here’s a totally unrelated video…

My favorite Michael Nesmith song!

P.P.S. The Monkees have ended and the old Partridge Family show has come on. Wifey said she didn’t remember how ugly the clothes were back then!

P.P.P.S. This is, what day 14 of the “official” Christmas season and not a single bit of the craptastic music has been played. ‘Nuff said.

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Ginger Returns – 2019

As I mentioned in my What A Week post just last week. Our mischievous little Elf, Ginger has returned. Since this is her third Christmas with us, and the girls are only here on weekends, Santa has said she can rest up during the week. Of course, that allows her to have a bit more fun in the days the girls are here.

To recap, Ginger arrived last Sunday, the 1st of December.

Ginger came fully loaded this year with a set of elf jokes. Think of these as similar to dad jokes, only worse. I’m guessing that since she isn’t zooming back and forth between here and the North Pole every night, she feels the need to move around the house during the day to keep an eye on the girls. So we have found her in several places last weekend, each time with one of those joke cards.

If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get?
What kind of music do elves like best?
What kind of bread to elves make sandwiches with?

When the girls arrived after school this Friday, they found Ginger in her igloo. Seems she found a little snowman that they were making but didn’t finish. So she finished it for them, and of course made a big mess.

There’s supposed to be a snowman here somewhere. Promise!

Saturday morning found her making some kind of snowflakes from toilet paper.

Almost as bad as a kitten.

We found her in several spots all over the house the rest of the day.

What’s the first thing elves learn in school?
What kind of photographs do elves like taking?
Why does Santa owe everything to the elves?

I guess she felt like she needed some exercise on Saturday. This is how we found her Sunday Morning.

Elf bowling!
Ginger the #elf hanging out in her igloo watching our version of Food Network Live #Christmas #Cookie Edition!

When the ladies took a break from making cookies, she got a little pushy!

At least she said “please”.

Then she was back with the bad elf jokes.

What’s Santa’s tax status?
What kind of cars do elves drive?

So that was Ginger’s weekend. The girls have returned to their other home, and Ginger is napping until their return.

Note: If you want the answers to her riddles, you will have to ask here on the blog. I’m not going to answer any questions on other social media. I realize that you have to have an email address and register to post comments. This is to stop the spam comments that I had to deal with when I started this blog. Your email is not stored or used in any way.

Peace,
B

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Just leaving this here.. because.

WTF???

Hot Tomatoes!

As opposed to hot potato, or even Hot Tuna, the late 60’s spin-off of Jefferson Airplane…

Now that you have no idea where I’m going with this; Welcome! I’m not really sure where I’m going with this post either. In essence I came here to talk about food. And by food I mean hot tomatoes. And by hot tomatoes I mean they ain’t my favorite.

When I was a kid, I enjoyed spaghetti. Not so much any more. My tastes have changed quite a bit over the years. I just don’t care tomato sauce all that much. I will eat it (except for sloppy joe’s – I cannot stomach those), but I prefer my tomatoes raw. And that goes for the majority of my veggies as well. Give me a salad, tacos, a sandwich, gyros (please more gyros), with nice chunks or slices of fresh tomato and I’m good. Throw them in a pot and turn up the heat and I’m going to the (beer) fridge to see what else I can find.

Even pizza! Yes, I know; I’m a geek. Pizza is supposed to be my main food group (along with Doritos and Mountain Dew). I don’t really care for any of those things. But give me a pizza that doesn’t have “red sauce” (Hello Mellow Mushroom’s Holy Shiitake!) and I’m down with that.

Son-the-younger (a.k.a. son-the-chef) makes a wonderful veggie sauce that uses tomatoes as it’s base. But there are so many other veggies in it the tomatoes aren’t so strong. We’re lucky that he’ll make a big ol’ pot of it and we can freeze several quarts for later use.

Not only has my tomato taste changed, so has many other foods. As a kid I would never eat brussel sprouts, asparagus, avocado or even broccoli. Now I eat them all. Again, preferably raw. Wifey makes this amazing dill dip that is so good on raw veggies (and chips, and grilled cheese sammies). There are so many nights that she and I will have fresh veggies and dip as our vegetable for dinner. I’m sure I make up for the calories that I save with the veggies with the amount of dip. Not that I use that much dip per piece, I just eat that much! Portion control is not my strong suit.

Funny story – the first time I had dinner at Wifey’s house (before we were married), my wonderful mother in law asked my if I wanted “a slice of pear”. “Sure” I said, “I like pears!”. Next thing I know I have a very large slice of avocado sitting in front of me. I look at it dumbfounded. “Uh… That’s not a pear” I say as respectfully as I could. Dear ol’ mother in law comes back; “Yes it is. It’s an alligator pear!” “A what?” I exclaim. “That’s an avocado. Not a pear!”. Needless to say, I had never heard the term alligator pear. I had to politely refuse said “pear”. Then sweet mom hit me with her all important question; “Have you ever tried it?”. Her one rule was you had try whatever food she was offering before you can say you didn’t like it. There were many dinners at her house where I had a spoonful of something I had never tried before. I learned early to say that it was something new, just a spoonful, please. I miss her.

I also have a good story where I turned the tables of trying new things on her. But that’s another post..

Here’s one of my guitar gods, Stevie Ray Vaughn doing Mary Had A Little Lamb. ‘Cause lamb is food, and this is a food post.. So it fits.. Kinda?

Peace,
B

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Two Weeks In

Well, here I am, two weeks into my semi-retirement. Just so you know, I have not been sitting on my ass the entire time. Mainly because I can’t sit for all that long, nor stand, nor lay down for that matter. The herniated discs in my back have not improved as I had expected.

And, since this is Veteran’s Day weekend, we have our annual “smoke out”. We used to do this twice a year, at Memorial Day as well, but we had to cut one out. Just too much work, and too expensive. As usual, we’ll have about 25 folks show up. Some driving an hour or so just to hang out with us. I consider this an honor and privilege to host these folks. Son-the-elder will not be joining us this year as he is still overseas with his Army unit. It’s also granddaughter-the-younger’s birthday celebration.

That’s just over 25 pounds of brisket and 18 pounds of pork butt to smoke! I have never smoked this much meat at one time…

I have also been doing physical therapy three times a week in an effort to get my back and legs stronger, so that I can handle smoking all that meat overnight Saturday and most of the day Sunday. It’s been mixed results, as this week has been a very difficult week with a high level of pain. But between the doctor, my wonderful tech lady, Wifey and doing my exercises and stretches, I feel much better today. The jury is waiting to hear the complaints after this weekend..

I’ve also been trying to do some more of the home repairs/upgrades we started a couple of weeks ago. That is slow going for me, but I do what I can and take a break to rest my back and legs. Much to Wifey’s surprise and delight, I do the basic housecleaning (sweep/mop/etc..) during the day as I can. I am still looking for a part time job to both supplement my income and keep me from going stir crazy. I can only sit and do nothing for so long. I’ve already read three books down my down time.

For now, my beer costs have not gone up. I am doing my best not to start drinking at lunch every day. And so far, that has held true. But “watch this space”. One thing that has gone up is coffee. When I was working I would normally have just one cup at home in the mornings and then drink the job’s coffee. Now it’s my usual four cups every morning. And we won’t get into weekend consumption when both of us are hitting the brew hard.

I think this song is appropriate.. Enjoy!

Peace,
B

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Who Is This Girl?

No, this is not some true crime I’m trying to solve, this is a musical question.

Eric Clapton wants her lay down, just so he can talk to her..

Sammy Hagar says we need to let her ride..

Lou Reed says she can’t dance (but tells her to ride)…

Al Green says she need to ride as well…

All I know is she has a Mustang, and she needs to slow it down…

Where can I meet this Sally?

Peace,
B

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It’s A Dog’s Life

Here at Campbell Castle (West), we like our pets. So, let me introduce you to our “Big Guy”, my “grand-dog”, Baron. Baron has lots of titles; Baron Von CouchPotato, Baron Von LazyBones, and Baron Von ChowHound to name just a few.

Baron is a good dog, not the sharpest crayon in the box, but he doesn’t seem to care. He loves his girls, and is rather protective of them.

We rescued Baron just about a year ago. When we brought him to the first vet visit, he weighed about 75 pounds (32 Kg for you metric folk). Then just 7 months or so later he developed “Idiopathic Head Tremors”. This is a very scary looking event where the dog’s head and neck shakes like it’s having a seizure. It could be an epileptic seizure, but usually isn’t. I was lucky enough to catch one on video and we took him back to the vet.

He owns the couch.

In my opinion the vet tried to oversell us. She wanted to put Baron on several meds and send him for neurological exams. I didn’t agree with this plan at all. One thing we did find out was that Baron Von ChowHound seemed to be Baron’s usual mode. He was over 100 pounds! 101 to be a bit more precise. Needless to say, a new diet plan was instituted.

After a month of easing his portion size and slowly introducing a low calorie dog food, we had to switch the brand of food. The vet had suggested a prescription weight loss food. Baron didn’t like it much, and was eating way too little. And crying. The boy is very vocal. Not so much barking, but whines and cries like no other dog I have ever heard.

Dogs love trucks!

Yesterday we took him for his yearly exam and he has lost 11 pounds. This is only over a 3 month period too! He seems to be doing much better on this new food, but still is always begging for more. But once we get him back closer to the 75 – 80 pound range, then he should be able to get a slightly bigger portion of food.

We call this “monorail dog”.

Baron is a very good looking, though somewhat smaller version of Scooby Doo. He has a lot of personality, and is a big bully. His head is as big as a bowling ball, and he uses it to push his way into everything. We had to buy a garbage can with a locking lid to keep him out of the trash.

As I mentioned at the top, Baron is my “Grand-Dog”. Everything is registered under son-the-younger. He lives here with us and loves to dig up my yard!

Son-the-younger and Baron a day or two before he came home.

And since we have switched him from the Purina food we have not seen any more tremors. We even did the “Doggie DNA” test. We did this mainly since he was a rescue, we had no idea his mix of breeds, and we wanted to be prepared for any possible future medical issues we might encounter. Such as – Idiopathic Head Tremors are very common in bulldogs, and Baron has a high percentage of Bulldog DNA.

We have a fire station less than a mile from the house. Seems the sirens are.. well, you decide.

He is singing the song of his people!

Peace,
B

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