humor

Truth! (In Advertising??)

Let’s talk about a strange, but very interesting, ad. I don’t know if this commercial runs outside of the USA, so for reference here it is:

So let’s pick this apart shall we?

First, while it is true that text messages are being broadcast into space, after all everything that has ever been broadcast by humans has been sent into space. How do you think aliens are learning our anatomy & physiology? They’re not abducting us and doing rectal probes. They’re watching all the p0rn and sexting messages were sending out. Basically, aliens have as much of a screwed up expectations of our sex lives as a 16 year-old boy.

Second, if you were the astronaut in space, do you think you’d actually be monitoring text messages? I won’t even go into the lack of a lag it the messages. I know here on earth, my texts don’t get delivered in real-time. Can you imagine the bounces a message would have to take to finally make it to someone in space?

Next, both of characters are in a night-time scene. This would mean that the “space station” she is working on is close to the terrestrial location the guys is locked out of his car. That would indicate that the station is in a geosynchronous orbit. But the space station isn’t in that type of orbit. In fact it makes a complete orbit around the earth about every 90 minutes. So they would both see the same moon for a very short time.

Lastly, if one member of a couple is an astronaut I think they could afford something a bit more fitting of the astronaut’s earning capabilities than a Hyundai.

But that’s just my opinions.

Can you find any other “not quite right” moments in this commercial, or any others? Leave a comment if you do (or feel free to pick apart my pseudo-science).

Peace,
B

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Nothing To See Here

Just here to post this meme son-the-elder sent me.

17034.jpeg

This is relevant because my boss has pugs. Whenever he gets sick we say he has the “pug flu”.  I will admit that pugs are not my cup of tea but to each his own. Also, man buns are without a doubt the stupidest haircut for men since the mullet.

Peace,
B

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They Treat Me Like Family

Obviously, that is a clip from the hit TV show “The Big Bang Theory”. Just in case you’ve been living under a rock for the last 11 years or so, here is the Wikipedia page for the show.

I don’t watch much television. Wifey® on the other hand, watches a lot. But I do enjoy this show. The basic characters are, of course, over the top representations of your average science nerd.

Let’s look at this clip for a moment. What if a restaurant really did “Treat You Like Family”? In my opinion that would mean;

  • No menu. You would get whatever the hell the cook made that night. And you’d like it!
  • You would have to serve yourself. Go get your own refills and such.
  • The usual response to “pass me the salt, pepper, ketchup, whatever” would be “Get up and get it yourself!” Well, at least at my house that’s the usual.
  • You wouldn’t have to pay! Now that’s a good point. But it’s also a bad idea, as the venue would not be around very long.

What else would make it “like family” for you? Leave me a comment below.

Peace,
B

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True Stories From The Workbench – Part II

(True Stories From The Workbench – Part I)

Here are a couple more stories of the odd things we techie types run into now and then.

The year was around 2001, I was doing in-home/office computer work. I went to the home of a doctor that was having a very minor issue. If I remember correctly (which at my age is questionable), it only took me about 15 minutes to fix the issue. While she was writing out my check, she asked me what I did to fix the PC. I didn’t get more than a handful of words out in reply when she interrupted me with “No! Don’t tell me. You may push something out of my brain that I need”.  Now I may have only been a paramedic back in the day, but I’m pretty sure that’s not the way the brain works. I was hoping she was joking, but she looked really serious. I just let it go.

Just this past week: We use Micro$oft SharePoint here at work. (No I am not a fan). It is set (and cannot be changed) as the default homepage for both Internet Exploder Explorer and Chrome web browsers. We also have it set that the login cookie (that’s what saves your username and password) expires at a set time. This means that every now and then you will have to re-enter your login credentials to continue. So, we get a HellDesk ticket “SharePoint is asking me to log in and I don’t know what to do!”  Uh… Maybe enter your username and password and login? You know, follow the damn instructions!!!

Have any stories you’d like to share?

And this video has nothing to do with anything in this post. But it showed up all on its own, so I think it’s an omen.

Peace,
B

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Over 50!!

(Followers that is. Personally, I’ve been over fifty for a while now…)

Thanks to all my followers. I broke the 50 follower mark today. Never thought I’d get any kind of following!

So here’s a video to celebrate.

Peace,
B

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To Follow Up

This morning I tweeted this:

tweet

For those not here in Floriduh, basically, it’s rained something like 12 or 13 days straight. Here’s my other post on this nasty weather.

But this morning the sun came up so very, very bright. It was much like this…

Monty_Python_and_the_Holy_Grail_2-1000x601

Walking in with a co-worker this morning from the parking lot, and she said “It was so bright when I was getting ready for work, I had to check what time it was. I thought I was late!”

But alas, it won’t stay.  My favorite weatherman Brian Shields over at WFTV says we can expect about four more inches of rain over the weekend. This won’t bother me so much, as my plan for the weekend is finishing the floor. (See here and here about the floor).  But I do worry that all the rain means that the little girls will have nothing to do and will be underfoot all weekend. </sigh>

But we’ll get through it. As of today, we are nowhere near the May record rainfall. Last I looked we are just under 6 inches of total rain this month. The record is almost 14 inches, set in 2009 I believe.

So, tell me, “How’s the weather where you are”?

And this song has nothing to do with the weather, but it is about “Sunshine”. And it’s one of my all-time favorite songs.

Peace,
B

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(I really should stop linking to my FB page. I never go there anymore…)

I Call Shenanigans

Floriduh is supposed to be “The Sunshine State”.  Not this week.  And I really need it to be. I have a PC Security conference in Orlando starting this evening and running through Friday evening. To save my employer a bit of money, I picked a cheaper (by half price) hotel, just down the street from the hotel where the conference will be held. The plan was to park my truck and walk back and forth. I did this for two reasons, one, I don’t want to have to pay the parking fees at both hotels, and second, the walk will replace at least some of the missed elliptical time.  Not to mention, I doubt an Uber driver will want to pick up that short of a trip (0.3 miles according to Google Maps).

But no… There is a big low-pressure system off our west coast and big high-pressure system off the east coast. And between the two of them, we got nothing but rain.  As one of the weather guys on a local channel posted:

 

thisweek

Thanks to Brian Shields of WFTV for the image (and no I didn’t ask permission)

 

So I guess I’ll be paying double parking fees…

Sheesh!

Peace,
B

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Heaven & Hell

Many, many years ago, and in some ways in a universe far far away, my mom had a sign in her office. She was the bookkeeper/admin person for a nursing home. So the sign was very fitting.  As best I can remember it went like this;

In life you only have two things to worry about
You’re either sick or you’re well.

If you’re well, you have nothing to worry about.
If you’re sick, you have only two things to worry about,
You’ll either get better or you’ll die.

If you get better, you have nothing to worry about.
If you die, you only have two things to worry about,
You’ll go to Heaven or you’ll go to Hell.

If you go to Heaven, you have nothing to worry about.
If you go to Hell, you’ll spend all your time meeting old friends
you’ll have nothing to worry about!

So, don’t worry, right?  If only it was that easy!  But, then again, I don’t believe in either Heaven or Hell.

Hope you enjoyed this totally useless post.

Peace,
B

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Music Habits Tag

My wonderful friend Kiersten over at Once Upon A Spine (you should go read her blog for some great book reviews and recommendations) tagged me for this post.

So, to start off, thank you m’lady.

As with any tag type of post, there are rules. Why are there always rules???  But here they are:

RULES:

  • Tag the creator (did that)
  • Thank the person that tagged you (did that too)
  • Answer all the questions (will do next)
  • Tag 3 other bloggers (gonna be tough…)

DO YOU DOWNLOAD SONGS OR STREAM ON APPS LIKE SPOTIFY, WINK?

I do both.  I have premium accounts on both Spotify and Pandora, plus an Amazon Prime account.  My music comes from all over. I do download some of my Spotify playlist to listen to at times. Spotify limits downloads to just over 3000 songs, and my current playlist is much longer than that, so I can’t download all of it.

WHAT’S YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG?

No way I could limit myself to one favorite song. Whatever could be listed as “my favorite” will change depending on many factors. And since I’m stuck in the 60’s and 70’s (with just a little of the 80’s thrown in), all my favorites have become “classics”. Which is funny, since when I was a radio DJ (so very long ago) we called it “Album Oriented Radio” (AOR). I don’t consider myself a “classic” by any means.  But, “No Reply” is my favorite song by The Beatles, “Stars” and “As The Raven Flies” by Dan Fogelberg, “Wild World” by Yusef/Cat Stevens (his music saved me during the troublesome years of High School), “Into The Mystic”  by Van Morrison, “John Barleycorn Must Die” (Wifey® hates this song) by Traffic, and I could go on and on. I won’t go into the Blues side of things.

LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO?

“Nothing Compares 2 U” by Prince (did you know he wrote it?) is currently playing.

WHO ARE YOUR ALL-TIME FAVORITES?

This list could go on and on and on…

  • The Beatles, of course
  • Dan Fogelberg
  • Yusef/Cat Stevens
  • Any combination, or solo venture, of Eric Clapton and Stevie Winwood
  • Any combination, or solo venture, of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
  • Bruce Hornsby (with or without The Range)
  • The Hollies
  • Van Morrison
  • Joe Cocker
  • Heart
  • Joe Bonamassa (especially when teamed with Beth Hart)
  • Tedeschi/Trucks Band

HAVE YOU BEEN TO ANY CONCERTS?

Way to many to list here. Heart (three times), Linda Ronstadt, John Denver, Crosby & Nash, Blue Oyster Cult, Firefall, Alabama (when I was a country DJ).  And the list continues.

DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?

I play guitar (about 50 years now), both electric and acoustic, but prefer acoustic. I also play around with harmonicas. I’ve been told I have a very nice singing voice too.

DO YOU PLAY YOUR SONGS ON SHUFFLE OR CHOOSE A PLAYLIST?

I create my own playlists, then shuffle it.

NAME ONE SONG THAT YOU ALWAYS SKIP WHEN IT COMES UP ON SHUFFLE

Since I create my own playlists, this doesn’t happen often. But, like Kiersten, I will always skip “Stairway To Heaven” and anything by Skynyrd. Way too much air-time when I was younger.

DO YOU PREFER PLAYING SONGS ON SPEAKER OR LISTENING IN EAR/HEADPHONES?

Speakers when I can, but usually earbuds (so I can turn it up to 11 and not bother anyone).

IS THERE ANY POPULARLY PLAYED SONG THAT YOU DON’T LIKE?

Don’t know. I tend to avoid what passes as “music” these days (and get off my lawn, you damn whippersnappers!!!)

WHERE DO YOU USUALLY FIND NEW MUSIC?

My sons recommend artists to me now and then. Some I have added to my playlists (Shinedown, Theory of a Deadman etc..).

DO YOU LIKE SONGS BASED ON TUNES/BEAT OR LYRICS?

My hearing is basically shot. (See the headphone question) So usually the melody and counter-melody are what catches my attention. I like acoustic guitars and vocal harmonies the most.

NAME ONE SONG THAT YOU THINK EVERYONE SHOULD LISTEN TO.

“American Pie” by Don Mclean. A great story in a song. (But I totally agree with The Hokey Pokey).

I TAG:

America On Coffee

LittleFears

Yeah, I know, I’m supposed to tag 3 people.  But as Meatloaf sings “Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad”. (See what I did there?)

Peace,
B

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